I had a bit of a wobble this afternoon when I realised that this time next week and it will be the day before Aardvark starts nursery school. Her uniform is en-route (supposedly- see yesterday's post), she is familiar with the school and her teacher but as of yet I am not sure how well she is going to respond to being left there without me.
Aardvark and I have always been together, we have spent very few nights apart, she isn't clingy but I think I am. When I had a second chance at family life (save that for another time perhaps) I had a very firm idea about the kind of mother I wanted to be and this meant forging a very close and loving relationship with my children.
Her going to school means another step towards her independence and development and I understand that. But at the present time I can't get my head around someone else being responsible for her and looking after her. Aardvark is not yet talking, this has been assessed and she is perfectly fine, just learning in a different way to other children (trust her to do things differently!). What happens if she is unhappy? If someone is less than nice to her? I will know the difference in her but she won't be able to verbalise it and this worries me.
My head says that she will be fine, I know she likes the school and her teacher very much. Aardvark is a very confident little girl, she gets on with other children and adults so I don't have any concerns there. I suppose I am just reluctant to let go of my daughter but there is one thing for sure, she will enjoy the whole experience so much more than me. If there are any tears to be shed on her first day, then they are going to be mine for sure!
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