I spent ages trying to write this particular blog today, none of the words I wrote seemed to be right and get across what I actually wanted to say.
It all started with a Twitter post this morning which encouraged us to get a trend going - #alicebucketlist
Alice Pyne has cancer and only weeks to live, according the news reports. She started a blog and listed all of the things she hoped to achieve in the time she has left. Within hours the trend was global and her hashtag was being tweeted all over the place. Quite rightly, Alice says on her blog that there are other children and young people in exactly the same position as her and we should not forget them.
She included a link to a website http://www.postpals.co.uk/ I have just spent the last hour reading some profiles and basically crying my eyes out. I have made a promise to myself that I am going to post some cards off to these children - the time they have left needs to be as happy as possible.
I have been crying quite a bit over the last couple of days. I watched BBC1's 'Poor Kids' the other night. It was very well filmed, narrated by the children themselves and gave a raw insight in to a life in poverty from their point of view.
I get very angry that as a country we seemingly send billions to over-seas aid, yet there are vast amounts of children in this country who are in the same position. Its not that I don't think that we shouldn't assist other countries, but surely we need to be dealing with our own poverty first?
One little girl said that she didn't think she would live beyond 21 years old and that her life was going to be bad - what kind of hope is that?
The Hubstacle just took one look at my face during this and said 'You can't save them all', I know this, of course I do, but I refuse to accept that children should go hungry. I was waiting to see the adults smoking, drinking and watching their HD TV's, wearing designer clothes - then I would have launched to 10,000ft - but actually the adults came across reasonably ok and were actively trying to improve their families situations.
I am grateful for my family, our lives, our health and our future together. My children are exposed to other people's needs and suffering, we hope it will make them better people and thankful for what they have in life.
At the moment Aarvark and Rhino think it is normal that Mummy and Daddy love them, cuddle them, will keep them safe and take care of them. They know no different.
This is party why we want to start fostering again, our own children need to know that not everything in the world is rosy and understand how fortunate they are.
Thursday 9 June 2011
Sunday 5 June 2011
25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9
Manners. Considering most adults have problems with these as it is I was interested in having a look at this article.
‘Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons.
By David Lowry, Ph.D.
Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.-‘
This article was originally published in the March 2011 issue of Parents magazine. Let’s have a looksie shall we?
Manner #1 - When asking for something, say "Please."
Can’t disagree with that one in the slightest!
Manner #2 - When receiving something, say "Thank you."
So far, so good – agree with this one too. In fact if you really want to tick your children off then how about insisting on the handmade thank you note as well?
Manner #3 - Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.
Isn’t everything an emergency for a 9 year old child? Dear Author, I think you will find that parents will never stop their conversation and even if they do have a natural break, they will certainly not ‘notice’ their children – especially when wine, cakes and coffee are involved.
Manner #4 - If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.
Yeah right! ‘mummy, mummy, mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, MUMmy, MUMmy, MUMMY, MUMMY, MUUUUUUUUUMMMMMYY’
Parent – ‘Be Quiet, I am talking’
Manner #5 - When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.
Hahahahahahaha!!!
As if!
Hahahahahahaha!!
Manner #6 - The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.
Maverick Mummy Version – Just say ‘Shuddup’
Manner #7 - Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.
Maverick Mummy Version – as manner number 6!
Manner #8 - When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.
Acceptable stock response is ‘fine thank you’, I would not advise asking after the well-being of anyone over the age of 60. The attention span of a 9 year old cannot cope with hearing a long-winded story of numerous ailments, the fact that the post office is closing and the bus driver doesn’t wait until you have sat down before driving off.
Manner #9 - When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.
See manner number 2 and remember to apologise for vomiting over their new carpet after eating too many sweets, spilling your drink down the back of the television and feeding a whole loo roll down the toilet causing a block which the plumber had to be called out for.
Manner #10 - Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.
Recommend this is definitely taught, it will save costly counselling bills later on in life.
Manner #11 - When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.
Since when does anyone actually talk on the phone anymore? Phones are for texting and Google aren’t they?
Manner #12
Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.
Covered in manner number 2 – hahahaha!
Manner #13 - Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.
Adults wonder why their kids know these words. Quite simply grown-ups swear like navvies and think their kids don’t hear them. Stupid ‘beeping’ people.
Maverick Mummy response ‘Shuddup or I am buying a bar of soap when I go shopping’
Manner #14 - Don't call people mean names.
Isn’t it inevitable when your refer to Aunt Mabel as a warty old hippo, the kids are bound to follow suit?
Maverick Mummy version – ‘Shuddup farty pants’
Manner #15 - Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.
Er, since when is Bullying bad manners? It is abusive behavior intended to hurt someone and involves an imbalance of power. It’s parents’ job to monitor their children’s attitudes toward others and teach and show them how to give kindness, acceptance, inclusion and generally deal with any negative perceptions and behaviors.
Mind you, not making fun and teasing people in a good natured sense is who I am and I want my children to grow up and not take themselves too seriously and take a joke. Let’s face it, who wants to be friends with a bore?
Manner #16 - Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.
Whilst pretending you are interested, try not to rustle your sweets too loudly, yawn, text your friends or fall asleep – it’s a dead give away
Manner #17 - If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."
Say it in a sarcastic way to anyone over 75 as they would have definitely bumped into you and not care in the slightest. Anyone else – apologise.
Manner #18 - Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.
Can’t argue with that one, but adults are just as bad. Since when has does being inside a car make you invisible – we can see you picking your brains out of your nostrils and it’s not pretty.
Manner #19 - As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.
Er, see manner number 17 – just let the door swing.
Manner #20 - If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbour working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.
Then wish you hadn’t when you are roped into something that bores the pants off you.
Manner #21 - When an adult asks you for a favour, do it without grumbling and with a smile.
Kids up to about the age of 9 will be enthusiastic to help give any opportunity, this disappears immediately on reaching the Teens, after then, don’t bother asking.
Manner #22 - When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!
Covered this in numbers 2, 9 and 12 – moving on!
Manner #23 - Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.
And still get it wrong if you watch them – most haven’t got a clue what a fish or grapefruit knife is nowadays, let alone use conventional cutlery in the correct fashion. Google it and your friends parents will think you are very refined and cute!
Manner #24 - Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.
Who has napkins at home? No need when sleeves, upholstery mothers and tablecloths are so much easier.
Manner #25 - Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.
This is especially tricky if you are eating on your own.
I reckon this list – and boy what a list – can be boiled down to 3 general guidelines that should get your through childhood without a clip round the ear.
1 – Say Please and Thank you
2 – If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.
3 – Don’t be an idiot
Common sense yes? However people still seem to need a list to spell out how to function in the real world. Basically you will soon know if you go wrong when you don’t have any friends left or get smacked in the kisser by a disgruntled recipient of your actions!
‘Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons.
By David Lowry, Ph.D.
Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.-‘
This article was originally published in the March 2011 issue of Parents magazine. Let’s have a looksie shall we?
Manner #1 - When asking for something, say "Please."
Can’t disagree with that one in the slightest!
Manner #2 - When receiving something, say "Thank you."
So far, so good – agree with this one too. In fact if you really want to tick your children off then how about insisting on the handmade thank you note as well?
Manner #3 - Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.
Isn’t everything an emergency for a 9 year old child? Dear Author, I think you will find that parents will never stop their conversation and even if they do have a natural break, they will certainly not ‘notice’ their children – especially when wine, cakes and coffee are involved.
Manner #4 - If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.
Yeah right! ‘mummy, mummy, mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, MUMmy, MUMmy, MUMMY, MUMMY, MUUUUUUUUUMMMMMYY’
Parent – ‘Be Quiet, I am talking’
Manner #5 - When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.
Hahahahahahaha!!!
As if!
Hahahahahahaha!!
Manner #6 - The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.
Maverick Mummy Version – Just say ‘Shuddup’
Manner #7 - Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.
Maverick Mummy Version – as manner number 6!
Manner #8 - When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.
Acceptable stock response is ‘fine thank you’, I would not advise asking after the well-being of anyone over the age of 60. The attention span of a 9 year old cannot cope with hearing a long-winded story of numerous ailments, the fact that the post office is closing and the bus driver doesn’t wait until you have sat down before driving off.
Manner #9 - When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.
See manner number 2 and remember to apologise for vomiting over their new carpet after eating too many sweets, spilling your drink down the back of the television and feeding a whole loo roll down the toilet causing a block which the plumber had to be called out for.
Manner #10 - Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.
Recommend this is definitely taught, it will save costly counselling bills later on in life.
Manner #11 - When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.
Since when does anyone actually talk on the phone anymore? Phones are for texting and Google aren’t they?
Manner #12
Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.
Covered in manner number 2 – hahahaha!
Manner #13 - Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.
Adults wonder why their kids know these words. Quite simply grown-ups swear like navvies and think their kids don’t hear them. Stupid ‘beeping’ people.
Maverick Mummy response ‘Shuddup or I am buying a bar of soap when I go shopping’
Manner #14 - Don't call people mean names.
Isn’t it inevitable when your refer to Aunt Mabel as a warty old hippo, the kids are bound to follow suit?
Maverick Mummy version – ‘Shuddup farty pants’
Manner #15 - Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.
Er, since when is Bullying bad manners? It is abusive behavior intended to hurt someone and involves an imbalance of power. It’s parents’ job to monitor their children’s attitudes toward others and teach and show them how to give kindness, acceptance, inclusion and generally deal with any negative perceptions and behaviors.
Mind you, not making fun and teasing people in a good natured sense is who I am and I want my children to grow up and not take themselves too seriously and take a joke. Let’s face it, who wants to be friends with a bore?
Manner #16 - Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.
Whilst pretending you are interested, try not to rustle your sweets too loudly, yawn, text your friends or fall asleep – it’s a dead give away
Manner #17 - If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."
Say it in a sarcastic way to anyone over 75 as they would have definitely bumped into you and not care in the slightest. Anyone else – apologise.
Manner #18 - Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.
Can’t argue with that one, but adults are just as bad. Since when has does being inside a car make you invisible – we can see you picking your brains out of your nostrils and it’s not pretty.
Manner #19 - As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.
Er, see manner number 17 – just let the door swing.
Manner #20 - If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbour working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.
Then wish you hadn’t when you are roped into something that bores the pants off you.
Manner #21 - When an adult asks you for a favour, do it without grumbling and with a smile.
Kids up to about the age of 9 will be enthusiastic to help give any opportunity, this disappears immediately on reaching the Teens, after then, don’t bother asking.
Manner #22 - When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!
Covered this in numbers 2, 9 and 12 – moving on!
Manner #23 - Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.
And still get it wrong if you watch them – most haven’t got a clue what a fish or grapefruit knife is nowadays, let alone use conventional cutlery in the correct fashion. Google it and your friends parents will think you are very refined and cute!
Manner #24 - Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.
Who has napkins at home? No need when sleeves, upholstery mothers and tablecloths are so much easier.
Manner #25 - Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.
This is especially tricky if you are eating on your own.
I reckon this list – and boy what a list – can be boiled down to 3 general guidelines that should get your through childhood without a clip round the ear.
1 – Say Please and Thank you
2 – If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.
3 – Don’t be an idiot
Common sense yes? However people still seem to need a list to spell out how to function in the real world. Basically you will soon know if you go wrong when you don’t have any friends left or get smacked in the kisser by a disgruntled recipient of your actions!
Saturday 4 June 2011
Who Cares About Those In Care?
I put off watching the Panorama expose on the residential unit in Bristol until a couple of days after it was aired. My fellow tweeters were understandably very vocal and the timeline was full of thoughts, opinions and plans of retribution. One of my Tweeps advised me not to watch it last thing at night as a sleepless night, due to outrage, would be sure to follow.
It was within the first few minutes of watching that I wanted to get in my car and drive straight down to the South West and deal out my own style of 'care'. I had a period of service in the Police Force and it was the first time since I left that I really wish I hadn't - just to have been the arresting officer of those people.
The suffering of those young people in that unit was totally and utterly deplorable. It was meant to be a place which gives a therapeutic environment, not one dictated by fear and violence.
I could go on and on about the whole thing, but this will not an isolated incident. It is something that will be going on in all kinds of care arenas, and not just the official ones either.
I am sure that we all like to think that those people employed to look after those who cannot look after themselves - for whatever reason - are nice people who really have a knack and passion for what they do. The reality is of course, that there are bad apples in every barrel, it just finding them before they cause damage to the other apples which is the challenge.
You will see from previous entries that we are reapplying to become foster carers after a break of 2 years. During our time of looking after children - some of which were very vulnerable and damaged - we heard stories of other carers treating the young people placed with them terribly.
We know that there are cases of the elderly being neglected in their own homes, residential homes and even on hospital wards. Those with learning difficulties or mental illnesses - as we have seen - are not fairing any better. No don't get me wrong, there are carers out there who are worth their weight in gold, they are inspirational, loving, caring and want the people who they are responsible for to have every opportunity possible and a high level of life quality.
These people hardly ever get mentioned or even acknowledged.
We are all have a responsibility for others, we have a duty to teach best practice and lead by example because if we don't the people looking after us in our old age (some who haven't even been born yet!)may be dishing out much of the same to us.
It was within the first few minutes of watching that I wanted to get in my car and drive straight down to the South West and deal out my own style of 'care'. I had a period of service in the Police Force and it was the first time since I left that I really wish I hadn't - just to have been the arresting officer of those people.
The suffering of those young people in that unit was totally and utterly deplorable. It was meant to be a place which gives a therapeutic environment, not one dictated by fear and violence.
I could go on and on about the whole thing, but this will not an isolated incident. It is something that will be going on in all kinds of care arenas, and not just the official ones either.
I am sure that we all like to think that those people employed to look after those who cannot look after themselves - for whatever reason - are nice people who really have a knack and passion for what they do. The reality is of course, that there are bad apples in every barrel, it just finding them before they cause damage to the other apples which is the challenge.
You will see from previous entries that we are reapplying to become foster carers after a break of 2 years. During our time of looking after children - some of which were very vulnerable and damaged - we heard stories of other carers treating the young people placed with them terribly.
We know that there are cases of the elderly being neglected in their own homes, residential homes and even on hospital wards. Those with learning difficulties or mental illnesses - as we have seen - are not fairing any better. No don't get me wrong, there are carers out there who are worth their weight in gold, they are inspirational, loving, caring and want the people who they are responsible for to have every opportunity possible and a high level of life quality.
These people hardly ever get mentioned or even acknowledged.
We are all have a responsibility for others, we have a duty to teach best practice and lead by example because if we don't the people looking after us in our old age (some who haven't even been born yet!)may be dishing out much of the same to us.
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