Neighbourly Nonsense

Don't be fooled by my header bio. Yes, I do say it as it is, but in actual fact I very rarely run and hide behind my husband after doing so. I suppose it is in my nature to have an opinion, but that does not mean I think I am right all of the time, I do listen and take on board other people's way of thinking.

I live rurally and I only have 4 neighbours close by. I knew when I moved in that 2 of the families did not speak to one another, but that is not for me to be concerned about. As far as we are concerned, we get on well with everyone who lives around us. I am pretty confident that I could knock on any one of their doors and ask for help and it would be given.

I have never felt from either of the families that because we speak to the other one, that it is a problem. Things have trundled along nicely really, they are all adults and they can get on with it.

It does seem though that another 'incident' occurred over the weekend, which has caused further upset. The only issue I have with the whole thing is that the people on the receiving end of it all, are elderly and I know the lady was terribly upset - in fact she was crying when I took her a gift for looking after the chickens for us for a few days.

I cannot abide people using the weaknesses of others in order to intimidate. Mind you, there are two sides to every story aren't there.

Fostering

Until 2 years ago, we were foster parents - approved for up to 3 children aged between birth and 18 years old. During our time as foster parents, we experienced, first hand what neglect and abuse (all sorts) can do to a child - even small babies.

We decided to take a break when Rhino was born prematurely, we agreed that we needed to concentrate on our own children and give ourselves a rest and close that particular chapter in our lives.

The first three months were lovely - no log books to write, no monthly reports, meetings to attend, no court, no training, no nothing. However, one particular night, The Hubstacle and I were having a chat in general and during this time we both admitted that we really, really missed fostering very much.

We decided that if we still felt the same when Rhino reached 2 years old, then we would consider starting again. Rhino reached 2 at the start of May and we sent an enquiry email to the local authority. It seems that they want to snap our hands off because of our previous experience.

However, because of this previous experience we have laid down our limitations and they are that our children have to be the eldest in the house with the exception of mothers and their babies.

You may think that we are being choosy and blinkered, but remember we spent years fostering young people - all with differing needs and problems. Our own children's safety and well-being comes first - no matter what and with no exceptions. Some of the placements ended up being quite risky to other children in our home and we need to be 100% confident in everything we commit to.

Even though we are experienced, we still have to go through the whole process as if we are new carers - the Local Authority (LA) have said that they will try and fast-track us as much as possible.

It is very probable that we will be dealing with 'relinquished' (why they can't come up with a better word - I have no idea) babies - those being given up for adoption. It seems that there are more babies than cots, they are also having to send their mothers and babies out of county to be looked after as they don't have very many carers who can provide this kind of care.

I hope that the process is smooth and that we can get on with what we know we have a talent for. There is no doubt you will hear more over the coming weeks too!

Wish us luck!

The Greatness of the Garden!

'Outside now pease mummy?' says Aardvark, aged 3 as Rhino, aged 2 is hopping up and down, trying to get his wellies on.

We go out, and thats us sorted for entertainment for the next few hours, completely free of charge (The Hubstacle is happy about this!).

If you are stuck for something to do, sometimes you don't have to look any further than your garden. The ankle snappers and I always have a lovely time, and its even better when the sun shines. Let me share some of the things we get up to:

Dens - our small pop up tent cost £4.99, we fill it with blankets, cushions, books and teddies. We eat biscuits,read stories, zip ourselves in, pretend we are pirates sailing on the high seas, princesses/princes in our castle, knights hiding from the dragon or mice in our nest.

Cloud Watching - Blankets on the ground, laying flat out trying to find a cloud that looks like Daddy (lots of giggling here!), rabbits, birds or the most interesting 'sweeties' as chosen by Rhino.

Garden Treasure Hunt - We have a list of things to find in the garden; a brown leaf, a forked stick, an empty plant pot, a shiny stone etc

Nature pictures - We collect lots of garden foliage, sticks, flowers etc and stick them on to card, making lovely pictures.

What Animal Am I? - an animal is chosen and we all have to pretend to be it in the garden. Passer-by's are very complimentary of our chicken impressions! We also pretend to be farmers when we feed the chickens and look after the vegetable garden.

Chalk Art - chunky chalks which are used to bring out the artist in us all on the paths and side of the house.

Teddy Bear Picnics - Speaks for itself really, extra special when its real lunch being shared on the blanket.

Of course the sandpit, the trampoline and the swing are always pouplar too, but imaginative games really do enthrall the children more and this is evident in their play development.

We love our garden, all weathers, all seasons, all games, all fun!

Delivery Details

My lovely sister in law is a few weeks from giving birth to her first child. The poor girl has really struggled through her pregnancy having been plagued with sickness, things swelling up, getting stuck on the sofa, not walking properly and generally having every pregnancy ailment going!

I penned her an email tonight, trying to give her some reassurance and tips for the birth. I know from experience that some of us mums like to scare the pants off of pregnant women by telling them all about our birthing stories - sometimes exaggerating bits too. I don't find this helpful and I think that it is very unfair on the mum to be. I am honest in saying that when I was expecting Rhino (my 4th), I was still scared to bits - mainly becaise I knew what was coming, but also because I didn't have a clue how it was going to go.

I wish that I had someone who was thoughful enough to drop me a line to give me encouragement and realistic information. I hope that my SIL takes it as such.

Is Nessie A Necessity?

Back and refreshed from our few days away in Scotland (apart from someone driving into our parked car!) - our friends have a holiday home about a 30 minute drive from Pitlochry (South East of Fort William). We were very lucky to get to use it and took the chance to travel (2hrs I might add!) to Loch Ness.

The visitors centre was really good, as was the exhibition. The children bought some cuddle Nessie's and we drove home yesterday. Aardvark's Nessie definately came into the house - I distinctly remember it laying on the kitchen floor. It came to bedtime and could we find the damn thing?

No!

I have been through bins, bags, cupboards and drawers. I have looked through clothes, coats, cars and toys. I have searched through places that sane, rational people would know there is not an ounce of possibility that the damn thing would be in there - but I looked just in case.

I have blamed The Hubstacle, me, Rhino and the dog - and he isn't even here.

I cannot for the life of me, think where it has gone. Now Aardvark is not desperately upset, I think she is confident that Mummy and Daddy will come up trumps and fined Nessie. I, on the other hand and now wondering if I should contact the shop and ask for another one to be sent to me?

I have to make clear that I am not a 'buy an identical goldfish to stop my child being upset' kind of parent. But on this occasion I really feel sorry for Aardvark, she spent some of her pennies on it (£7.99).

What to do? Ideas anyone?

Sleepless in the North of England

Sleeping problems are common, and most of us with young children will certainly, at one point or another, know what sleep deprivation is like.

Aadvark is 3 and Rhino, 2 and they are both, and pretty much have always been very good sleepers. This is something that I rarely tell other parents as usually they want to throttle me for having a good nights sleep.

However, I suspect the last laugh is now on me as I am currently having difficulty getting a good nights kip. The children are fine, the hubstacle snores away all night but I don't and its beginning to get a tad annoying.

I don't have a problem getting to sleep, in fact I drop off really quickly, but after a few hours I start waking up. The frequency can range from every 10 minutes to every 45 and this continues until about 5.30-6am when I seem to go back to sleep properly until I get up at 7am.

I have tried cutting out food and stimulents last thing at night, I read for a bit in bed, tiredness sweeps over me and I snuggle down and drop off. The only thing I can think of that is hindering my slumber is the dreams I seem to be having lately, they are not nice ones and I suppose there is a particular thing I am anxious about at the moment, but it won't be fixed any time soon.

So, how do you deal with no sleeping properly? Have you ever had to contend with long-term sleep deprivation?

I am sitting here typing and feel as if the weight of the world is bearing down on me, I am so tired that I feel sick. Reaching for the strong coffee is not an answer, but I have to function because of the children.

Hit and Didn't Run!

There are still some very honest people in this world, and I am very grateful for that. We were away on holiday, in our lovely new car. After parking on the street in a lovely little town, we went off for a nice coffee and a mooch around the shops.

On our return, a ladt came out of a complementary therapy shop and informed us she witnessed another vehicle hit ours. We waited for the phrase 'they left without leaving their details', but in actual fact she said that they waited for ages before finally leaving a note on the windscreen.

The lady had taken the details of the vehicle anyway, and when we called the other driver, he was truly mortified and very apologetic. He was in a company vehicle, so luckily all was well in the insurance department.

Just to clarify, for those who don't know; if you run into a parked, unattended car, as long as you leave contact details on the vehicle or with someone nearby, you are covered - i.e you won't be prosecuted for leaving the scene of an accident.

So, we came home from holiday, now have a hire car and ours - which has a broken nose, is waiting for the garage to come and take it to be repaired.