Glam Gran

You may, or may not know but in addition to Aardvark, aged 2 and Rhino, aged 1 I also have 2 very big children - 2 sons, one aged 17 and the other 20. I became pregnant with my eldest when I was very young - that part of my life deserves a separate blog for itself so I won't go in to things on this entry.

Last year my eldest and his girlfriend announced that they were expecting a baby. At first I was horrified, but I soon have a dose of reality when I realise they are somewhat older than I was as a first time parent. I suppose you learn from experience and I know how hard it was for me bringing a baby into the world when I was younger. I guess I just wanted them to live their lives for a bit and not get bogged down with huge responsibilities. I was also a bit frightened for them because it was tough for me.

The long and short of it was that the baby developed very well, in all aspects, apart from its brain - which did not form at all. The baby - a little girl - was totally and utterly perfect but would not live more than a few minutes after birth. My eldest and his g/f were 20 weeks pregnant by this time and they made the heart-wrenching decision that the pregnancy could not go on. His g/f gave birth to that gorgeous little girl at nearly 30 weeks pregnant.

I felt terrible at the negativity I initially experienced - not to my son, to myself, at the news of the pregnancy. The way it turned out was terribly upsetting and not something I would ever wish on anyone.

Anyhow, they got pregnant again and things have gone smoothly.

Little Bumble was due on the 1/12 and here I am, having received a text message at 0845hrs this morning, telly me that it was all systems go and they were at the hospital. My phone has been glued to my side all day (even in the toilet) and I have been pacing up and down like an expectant 1950's father.

I keep telling myself that no news is good news, and I know (from quite a bit of experience) that they could be there for the long-haul! However, I am at the other end of the country and feel totally useless. I should be there for them.

How do I feel about becoming a Granny? Well I am 37 years old, it was going to be highly probable that I was going to have a grandchild at a young(ish) age, but I still don't think it will sink in until I actually hold Little Bumble in my arms. I am scared for them, but then again I coped very well indeed in fact given the situation I was in I did excellently.

A new life is about to come into the world - and there is a Glam Gran just waiting to love that Little Bumble very much indeed - no matter what!